The Sour Age

Jack Skunk

Pre-season Rankings

Hello everyone. Since Showkiller will be busy “working” at a bar this summer, I have the job of chief commentator.

For general recaps, check out the GU site: http://www.gainesvilleultimate.com

Jack’s Rankings- This is where I rank the six teams based on performance, personnel and my mood. For instance, if Puller is getting on my nerves, then his team might drop a couple of spots. What does it mean? Not much, other than I know what I’m talking about and you don’t. Bow to me, mere mortal!

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6. Team 1 (Team Douma)—I know, it’s not fair, but somebody has to start at the bottom. Seeing as how this is Patrick’s first time in running a team, we’ll get to see how well he can get his people to the field, and how well they’ll conform to a game plan. My guess: not so much. On the plus side though, they do have some heavy hitters- Think Chloe, Deavenport, and Darin. But will they have the discipline? Based on Friday’s outcome, I say no. Sorry boys and girls, but somebody has to be the bottom-feeder.

5. Team 3 (Team Foerster)— This crew is next on our list just simply because they don’t have the “Marquee” names. Where are the Dans, the Skools, or the Palmers? I don’t see a single one. They do, however, have some solid middle managers. Mike, Allen, and Jack may not be in the pantheon of Gainesville’s elite, but they’ll run hard on D and value the disc. Can they elevate their team to the next level? I’m thinking not.

4. Team 2 (Team Keating)—The good thing with Keating is that he selected a team that is a reflection of his personality: speedy, competent, and respectful of the disc. Coleman (aka Hydro), Marta and Cari are all fast and smart players who can control the plate and punch it in. The knock is that they lack the huckers. Here’s the game plan to beat the 4s: zone and have the two deeps cheat up. Trust me- they won’t beat you by going over the top, which is why they’re ranked in the lower half.

3. Team 5 (Team Durham)—This is the Czar’s team, so you know they’re going to be solid. The 5s are going to use the Bumble Bee attack, and they are perfectly designed for it. Tim and TK are the two premier southpaws, so a flick force is going to leave every squad vulnerable to the huck. My only question is this: can this team minimize their unforced errors? Honestly, I don’t think so. They’ll take too many chances and that will cost them- if not in the Semis, then in the finals.

2. Team 6 (Team Greathouse)—Everybody knows that the able lieutenant can’t handle, so what did he do? He surrounded himself with those who can. On top of that, the 6s are loaded with some fast women (not like that!) Alisha is blindingly quick. On top of that, there are no obviously holes in the line up- other than a certain upwind thrower of “questionable” hammers. Holster that, buddy, and you’ll do just fine.

1. Team 4 (Team Vozza)—This crew earns the number one spot because Phil concentrated on picking up as many A and B boys as he possibly could. As college players, they’re loaded with talent and experience. Sure- they got clocked on Friday, but that was pre-season. Look for Andrew, Deanna, and TJ to play like they’re going for a national championship. They might lose games, but when the play offs get here, look out. I doubt they’ll take any prisoners.

Have a great one.