To get a full understanding of the Czar and his able Lieutienant, we need only to remember where the League was when I, Showkiller, started playing in last years Winter League.
In the third week of Winter League last year, the attendance went from high to dry. The pod system was the latest and greatest thing since being able to hook up with girls via text messages, and the League director-the last I heard- was in Biloxi, betting on black.
Since taking the League back over in Summer League ’07 the Czar and his able Lieutienant have managed to have 3 consecutive seasons ending with a championship and a playoff system, and have hosted many tournaments right here in our own backyard, including Sectionals ’07.
Mr. Gainesville: And luckily, they only seriously damaged Frostbreaker. Really, what's the difference between two idiots running league instead of one.
Yep that’s the Czar and his able Lieutienant. One part talent, one part brains.
Mr. Gainesville: C’mon Showkiller- don’t forget the fact that they could both just be lucky. Let’s not give them a brownie patch “for not screwing up.” I mean, seriously.
The Czar and his able Lieutienant sat down with me on the hot seat to prove which part is the talent and which part is the brains.
Q1: Will you ever consider bringing back the "pod" system to League?
Czar: No. I continue to invite Cyle back.
Mr. Gainesville: What does that even mean?
Lieutenant: No. A million times, “No!” I think one of the keys to league is team integrity. You need teammates who you play with and for each week, win or lose. Pods corrupt that. It was a fascinating idea, but inherently flawed.
Mr. Gaiesville: I liked the pods. You just don’t have the balls to experiment.
Q2: How did you get started playing ultimate?
C: At grad school, the math department would play on Fridays (insert geek joke here).
L: I started in about 1990 in a hospital game next to PKY, and then later over at Norman on Saturday nights. That was where I first met Ted.
Mr. Gainesville: Let’s see- one started with a geek fest, the other with people who don’t know how to throw flicks. Seriously- that explain A LOT.
Q3: Where do you see Gainesville ultimate in 5 years?
C: Leagues oriented around UF's schedule, fall, spring and summer. I hope we have can get more people involved using some known way of choosing who'll run what.
L: I think that it is getting stronger, and will continue to grow. For League, we need to reach out and bring in those who only know the hospital game. For instance, I’m disappointed that we lost the “Wiliston Road” game for league. Their players are talented, but I think that some are intimidated.
Mr. Gainesville: I think the lieutenant is just pissed that the Williston Roadies won’t let him play with them…
Q4: Describe the first season you took over as Czar and Lieutenant and how the league has changed since?
C: I don't recall exactly. I've done the league website since maybe 2002, when Dan DePaul ran it with 8 teams with each team having about 15 members.
Here's what remains of the 2002 league web site:
http://bigbigorg.org/ultimate/index2.html
Here's a link to the 2003 league web site run by Jill and Ted.
http://bigbigorg.org/cgi-bin/ultimate/index.pl?league=wl03
Mr. Gainesville: Isn’t it odd how the Czar was better able to maintain the “Rogue” site than this one. Quick, somebody look up the definition of irony!
L: That was Summer League, 2007- last year. Basically, our goal was to re-establish trust. Two leagues had failed back to back: SL-2006 evaporated when it tried to cross from Summer A into Summer B, and WL-2007 was the time of the infamous pods. Basically, the league was small, but fun. That was where me and the Czar began our never-ending debate about the number of teams versus Team size. For me, it was on the job training. Now, I think that we’ve re-established trust and are looking to expand. Oh, and the synthetic shirts—that was the Czar’s doing, and personally, I think that it was a brilliant addition.
Mr. Gainesville: “Small but fun” is the equivalent of “But she has a great personality…”
Q5: Why do the fields run North-South for most League games?
C: Because of the setting sun.
L: The sun. For tournaments, like Frostbreaker and Hypothermia, we have to go east-west to use our space more efficiently. For league, because there is space, we go North-South.
Mr. Gainesville: Another brilliant question- “Why do you play with ‘plastic’ discs and not glass ones? Moron. C’mon Showkiller, I expect better from you.
Q6: Why do you think elite-level players sign up for League and then rarely attend?
C: Sunday is a bad day. The pod league was held on Sunday, other than
that league play tends to happen on weeknights. Summer league will be on Fridays.
L: For Sundays, the explanation that I’ve received second hand is that it’s a “time thing.” Another explanation is that it’s probably not all that fun for them. A National’s caliber player may not have fun playing with a newer player. All we can do is present the opportunity, go out and have fun. The great thing with League, is that everyone is always welcome.
Mr. Gainesville: This is from the horse’s mouth- because newbies annoy the living hell out of me.. er… “them”. Plus, because you don’t do everything the old way, that means you’re screwing everything up.
Q7: Will Caleb Galloway (Pretty Boy) ever grow up?
C: Don't know, I know that 'll ask him to captain a team next season. Who made this question up?
L: In Caleb’s defense, I think he has gotten better. As a spectator, it looks like he’s been a great fit with the Red Team. Obviously though, everyone doesn’t get along.
Mr. Gainesville: I heard CG learned how to play “D” by watching K-Swiss and Dr. D. That’s what I heard.
Q8: Are there any options for a weeknight League with lights?
C: I can't think of any. We need a reserved field for league. Summer
League will be on Friday nights.
L: Right now, I don’t think that that is realistic. The only way to do that would be to try and squat on a field on campus, and that’s unacceptable. Summer League will take place on the traditional Friday night. After that, I’ll talk to the city and see what I can find. Again though- a week night game under the lights is very unlikely.
Mr. Gainesville: Translation- “we don’t have the balls to take a field on campus.” Back in the day, that’s what we used to do, and nobody questioned us, because they were like “hey, he’s good! Let’s not question him.” And of course, I was like, “Hey baby, wanna go get a beer,” And she was like, “yeah!” But I digress.
Q9: What are your advices for those who see you as role models and want to be the Czars and able Lieutenants of the future?
C: Talk to Mike and I.
L: Make sure you have a co-equal associate who works with you. This will help to weed out crazy ideas such as: scavenger hunts, pods, and “going savage.” Also, if somebody in league is mad at me, then they can talk to the Czar. Unlike in family relations, communication is very important to make league work.
Mr. Gainesville: Also, do what you’re told, or we’ll kick your sorry bottom out of the Gainesville Ultimate Community. Seriously, we’ll do it too.
Q10: What's the hardest decision you have to make while running the League?
C: Allocating late joining players is not easy. Making it fair and fun for the ladies is hard since there are only 2 or 3 ladies on a team.
L: Saying yes or no to a skilled player who wants to join league after the teams have been set. Typically, I defer to the Czar on these matters. A skilled player who joins late can significantly throw off the balance we try to achieve in the draft.
Mr. Gainesville:
For the Czar- “What bizarre, incomprehensible tournament format can I come up with next?”
For the Lieutenant-“Who do I apologize to first for screwing up?”
Q11: Who can jump higher the Czar or the able Lieutenant?
C: I'll sky him, provided he doesn't push or elbow me. Maybe we'll have a skying contest as a subevent for league. Greathouse always vetos my subevent ideas.
L: The Czar. I don’t jump. I use my elbows.
Mr. Gainesville: Showkiller – your question went right over both of their heads. They completely missed that you're making fun of them. Not only are they both short, they both can't leave the ground!
Q12: Why does it take so long for new and/or corrected information to make it to the League web site? And for old and/or incorrect information to be removed?
C: Different time related reasons. Frostbreaker took up a lot of time and the web site went stale for a week or two. Sorry. Let me know if you spot an error.
L: That’s the Czar’s fault. Apparently, he has things called a job and family. Frankly, I think his priorities are all goofed up.
Mr. Gainesville: What about indifference and/or incompetence? I didn’t see that in your answer…
Q13: Why Discraft and not Wham-O?
C: Discraft, Wham-O feels weird.
L: Because we’re not hippies, and it’s 2008, not 1978.
Mr. Gainesville: alternate question—“If you were a tree, which tree would you be?” Showkiller, you're an idiot again.
Q14: Which team do you predict to win it all this season?
C: Really any team could win. The 2 teams with a bye have a big
advantage. I predict a bike gang / Cinderella story victory.
L: I think the Pawns are going to pull it off. The Captain of the Pawns is especially determined this season, and determination often trumps skill.
Mr. Gainesville: Look retards, it’s going to be Grey because of that whole huck thing. I mean “determined?” Give me a break.
Q15: JUST FOR MIKE: Where do you get your inspiration/audacity to bestow nicknames on new players?
L: If you act like you know what you’re doing, people rarely question you. Plus, it’s out of necessity. If you have a line up consisting of two “Kyle”s and two “Matt”s, you need to be creative. Most of the names are based on word play or colors that folks wear the first time I see them.
Mr. Gainesville: Translation- “please oh please give me a nickname. I want to be a cool kid!”
Q16: JUST FOR MIKE: What does it mean if you don't have a nickname? Is this a good thing?
L: It’s neither good nor bad. If I say “Lyle” you know who I’m talking about. If I say Kevin- who is it? Jones? Switzer? Keating? I’m a pragmatist. I’ll give a complete jerk a cool nickname if it’s helpful in me describing that player.
Mr. Gainesville: Here’s what it means- if you have a nickname, you’re an idiot. Real players don’t need nicknames. Do I have a nickname? No, I don’t think so. Why is that? Because I’m not an idiot.
Q17: JUST FOR MIKE: How many D's/hucks for the score/push-passes for the win do I need before I get a nickname?
L: Probably none. Having a somewhat common name is the easiest way to get a nickname- that, or having a weird name that I don’t know how to spell. Or, if I don’t really know you.
Mr. Gainesville: Yawn.
Q18: JUST FOR JIM: How are you rewarded by running the Gainesville show and coordinating the section?
C: Mike and I make a marginal amount money from ultimate stuff. Our Visions statement is the negation of "don't lose money." For being the UPA Florida Club Sectional coordinator I get a free membership to the UPA.
I'm also the College Regional coordinator for the Atlantic Region. So really I get 2 free memberships per year. I could die and come back to life at least once this year and still have a UPA membership.
Mr. Gainesville: Translation- “I’m a hack who will volunteer for anything.”
Q19: JUST FOR JIM: Is the creation of an elite team predestinately at odds with the cultivation of new players? Discuss.
C: Is this in the context of the league? League is where new players can learn.
Mr. Gainesville: Here’s what the Czar means- elite players don’t like to waste their time with the rabble- the plebians who pollute the lower rungs of the ultimate ladder. So yes, it is at odds. Duh.
Q20: JUST FOR JIM: What are your favorite movies and movie scenes?
C: In Willy Wonka, I like the scene where Mr. Wonka says "I said good day, sir!" to Charlie's uncle.
I like the scene in the Princess Bride involving Vizzini, Westly and a
Cup containing iocane poison (odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadlier poisons known to man).
Blues Brothers and Pee Wee's Big Adventure are very enjoyable.
Mr. Gainesville: The Czar’s answer continued: “And I like ‘Weekend at Bernie’s Part II.” I thought it was so realistic the way music could make the corpse dance. Basically, I like films that make me think!”
Q21: I've heard a lot about this "Finley Mentality." What's that about?
C: I've heard of Pick-up Mentality Syndrome (PMS), but I can't recall ever hearing the term "Finley Mentality." Part of PMS is a player making too many hero throws that don't work out, especially when a less glorious throw is available (dump or swing or a simple short pass).
L: Oh, well I’m an expert on this. The phrase “Finley Mentality” was coined by Patrick, and is a way to describe players who don’t play hard or turn the disc over too much. Example: “He didn’t lay out. That’s sooo Finley.” It’s derogatory. Personally, I find the phrase to be offensive- mostly because I respect our game and play as hard as I can. Plus, I don’t think that it’s an accurate reflection of all the players. Still, JJ is an open game, so everybody is welcome. I guess the way to stamp out this “mentality” would be to invite only selected players. Really though, that would just kill the game, so I’m against that.
Mr. Gainesville: The “Finley Mentality” basically describes all players who suck. If you have it, you suck. I don’t know if Patrick really coined it, but it’s a polite way of not just saying that you suck. It’s more of like saying “You suck in a humongous way. You suck more than a chest wound. Your suckiness is legendary, so that normal people who suck use the phrase “FM” to describe those who REALLY suck.” Too much? Well you suck.
Q22: Talk about some forefathers of Gainesville ultimate. Whom should we be thanking besides you guys? Any funny stories/characters?
C: Cyle ran league before I did it. I helped with web site stuff. Jill and Ted have run league. I recall paying money to Sara one year.
L: There are a lot of ghosts out there. For me, the most influential person was Sport. I played for her on Purple back in the late 90s, and I was struck by how she called everyone each week and got us out to the field. As for League, she’s the one who I try to be the most like. Oh, and she always brought out a bottle of crown Royal. Win or lose, we all got a swig at the end of each game.
The Czar and Lieutenant are now off the hot seat.
Mr. Gainesville: What about me? Where’s the love?
See ya next week,
Showkiller